she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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