Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
