Already got asked if we're dating
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
