VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
