So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
