I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
