i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
