I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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