My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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