that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
