so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
