Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
