the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
