I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
