I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
