therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just invented taco cereal.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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