Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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