I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
