I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize