If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my shit smells like andre
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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