They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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