Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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