ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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