I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
