He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
