You just made me feel so damn special
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
