The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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