how can u be prego again
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize