in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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