We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
