i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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