Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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