Just fell off a train. Bad.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
