goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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