when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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