Your face is a jimmy john
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize