Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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