Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
