Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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