I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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