you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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