I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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