Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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