you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
