I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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