i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
