Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
