even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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