The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
