I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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