It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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