Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
