I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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