Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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