she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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