I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
