What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
